It’s 2019 B!tches!

Yeah for the new year! Are you feeling feisty and ready to conquer? I am.

It’s been awhile since I’ve made a Spirit Doll. It’s been awhile since I’ve connected with any specific Goddess.

The last two years have been rough. I feel like I’ve been in constant contact with my personal guides and ancestors, begging them to help me process the anger and the outrage. Frustrated by my inability to make the big changes that the world needs right now.

Some artist excel in that kind of energy.

I don’t.

So no art and very little writing; most of that was scrapped because I couldn’t stop the venom from leaching into it. If I couldn’t contribute to the greater good, then I shouldn’t be adding to the collective misery. Those writings will stay private.

2017 is long gone and 2018 is over.

Welcome 2019 and this little swirly ball of hope and light; This warm tingly desire to create art.

So I sat down one night after the kids were asleep. I wrapped myself in the warm fuzzy blanket that my (soon to be) daughter-in-law gifted me, lit a candle and called in my ancestors.



What do I want? I asked them, What is the potential of this tiny seed I feel swirling around in my magic?

(because you can’t manifest if you don’t know what you want.)

I needed clarity, I needed a picture in my head and a feeling in my heart.

I didn’t have to wait long. I felt the warm glow of hope. I visioned a pictures of dolls, fully sculpted and clothed in funky fibers, bright colors and pussy hats. Goddesses, spirits, and physical representation of energy and abstract ideas.

I felt my crazy Aunt Joy, who passed away last summer. She too, was a doll maker and jack of all arts. Her daughter gave me all her doll making supplies. Bright colors and radical ideas were kind of her thing.

Yes, this is what my soul desires. To re-connect with the hopeful parts of myself, to reach out and offer the world a little bit of my enthusiastic optimism.

Then we had a planning session. Because they know me. I was given strict instructions.

  • No more than 6 dolls this year.
  • I must have a clearly defined project design sheet before I can start.
  • I must log my time and materials.
  • No ridiculous deadlines that make me dread the making process

I’m also allowed only one alternate art type to clean my pallet.  They’re pushing for art journal. They tell me Art journals are needed plus I enjoy the process of making them. I have a tendency to let my creative to-do list get excessively long, try to do it all and then burn out in frustration.

Maybe because it’s January, or maybe it’s because it’s a rather mild winter, or maybe it’s just the Old Hag calling to me. I’ve decided to re-visit with Cailleach Bhuer. It’s been 5 years. I think she has something else to tell me.

Pictures will be coming soon, I’m taking my time, enjoying the process.

What are your big plans for 2019? What are your personal conquests for the year?

Drop me a note and let me know so I can cheer you on.



In the Spirit of Cailleach Bhuer

I’m happy to say that I’ve finished the Cailleach Bhuer Spirit Doll. Every spirit doll is a journey but the Goddess dolls are very interesting journeys.

*edit* I’m even happier to report that Cailleach Bhuer found  a home shortly after being listed.


Cailleach Bhuer – the Blue-Faced Hag –  is an ancient Celtic Crone Goddess, said to have power over the winter. She was believed to blow in the freezing cold winds and snow. She flies through the air on the back of a wolf  or a boar, zapping the world with her freeze ray and dropping boulders randomly thus changing the landscape, making life on the surface unfamiliar.


As the blizzard blew in last week, followed by the cold snap, or polar vortex, as the weather channel called it, I could hear the Blue Faced Hag whispering to me….explaining….telling me her message.

Change is inevitable. Life transforms, becomes unfamiliar until it’s familiar again. Have patience and faith that everything will work out better than you imagined. It’s important and necessary to shake things up. It changes the energy, clears out the stagnant air, removes that which no longer serves you. Change makes room for new empowering positive energy to bring you closer to the dreams.

If you’re not willing to make the changes yourself then the Universe, (Cailleach) will do this for you. 

Your personal  growth is that important! 

Not only to yourself but also to everyone you encounter. We are all connected. 

I was reminded of an experience.

A few years ago, The Renaissance Man lost his job. He wasn’t happy with the job. For months he came home from work complaining about everything. I would suggest he look for another but he never did.

Shortly (like 2 months) after the birth of our last child, his boss sat him down with a 30 day action plan that included parameters that were mathematically impossible. It’s not fair but it’s business. Working in his field, he wasn’t entirely surprised.

But he was angry, so angry that he wanted to quit right then and there. I suggested he wait it out. I’m not one for making permanent decisions while I’m emotional.

My logic was if he waited to be fired he could  collect his last paychecks and the vacation pay he was allotted, file for Unemployment Insurance and take time to find a job that he really wanted.

Inside, just behind the anxiety,  I was listening to the quiet voice that kept telling me, “Everything will be fine, just follow the path and see what happens next.” And that’s exactly how it played out.

It went against everything he believed in but we wouldn’t change it for all the gold in the world. During the time off work, while he was looking for another job, he took over as primary caregiver and I worked more at the restaurant and also looked for a better job. He had the opportunity to bond with the baby, experiencing all the firsts that he missed with the other kids, took up baking with our daughter and started an Ebay side business.

I gave up control of the house and kids, allowing him to take over. I pursued a whim, trying my hand at a new profession and worked the full work week for the first time in my life.

The landscape of our life looked totally unfamiliar; everything changed but through the experience of switching roles we both grew personally and as a couple.

This, I believe, is the message of Cailleach Bhuer.

And as I do with all my Spirit Dolls, I pulled a single Tarot card, Temperance, which I interpreted as finding a sense of peace amid the chaos of change. Keeping things in balance and seeing the lesson in the challenge and having faith that it’s all good.

Has the Blue-Faced Hag paid you a visit lately?