Back to Basics : Grounding

Getting back to basics here. Grounding yourself. I’m starting to realize that not everyone understands the concept or knows how to do it.

I’m not talking about the those times your folks grounded you and you couldn’t hang out with your friends…. more like grounding the way electricity does. Only your electricity is made from your emotions

Think of emotion as Energy in Motion. Your emotions are just that, electrical impulses that trigger different body functions, Our thoughts give shape to those impulses and we label them; happy, sad angry, etc.

Each has a different feeling in the body. Sometimes, we don’t know why we feel what we feel. We wake up feeling sadness and we’re not sure why. We get impatient and lash our in anger for no particular reason. Sometimes we know why but there’s nothing we can do about the situation that’s causing the feelings and we still have to get our shit done.

As a triple water I know all about emotions, I swim through my days. For the most part, my emotions ebb and flow and I don’t even notice anymore. Sometimes, on rougher seas, I harness that energy to get shit done. Think rage cleaning

When its just too much, for too long and the feels are keeping me from getting other things done, I ground. Grounding helps release the extra emotions so we can get back to living our best life.

I personally believe that the whole reason we have physical bodies is to experience life through our emotions; to feel the experience in our body. Emotions give our life richness and depth but they can also get in the way.

Bonus! Grounding is aptly named as well!

Grounding is about giving the energy back to the earth to be recycled. Its like composting but with energy instead of organic material.

You all know how much I love composting!

Compost Pile

My compost pile prior to turning for visual effect.

There’s a natural magic in composting. You take your kitchen scraps, moldy fruits and rotten vegetables, bury in the ground and a few months later, Voila!

Dirt!

Healthy, nutrient rich dirt to feed your garden! Mother Nature turned all that was useless and bad for us into something with a purpose.

Guess what! The Earth does the same for your extra, moldy, rotten emotions that you have no use for.

Understand the concept?

Great, let’s get on to the process. (no? It’s okay, keep reading, I explain more.)

Just like there’s lots of ways to compost, there are also lots of ways to ground.

Lets start with visualizing. I find it to be the most effective. And it can be done almost anywhere with no tools.

(I don’t recommend doing this while operating heavy machinery so wait until you’re out of the drivers seat.)

So stop what your doing, take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

Feel inside your body. Where are the tensions, the aches, the pains, the butterflies, the energetic dark spots…..

Take another breath, recognize those place and relax them.

Now imagine your emotions as a dark river running through your body, traveling up and down your limbs swirling trough your torso, pooling in those achey places, becoming stagnant and green. Imagine this river starts to move and flow. You may feel tingling in your extremities as this river flows. You may not. Its okay either way. Do it anyway.

Let it drain down your legs and into the ground. Imagine your personal energy river draining all the muck and pond scum through the earth into a larger energy river. Imagine it mixing in with Earths natural energy. Imagine the the Earth diluting and neutralizing your toxic energy and transforming it into healing energy. Let your murky emotional river continue to flow however long you need. You may feel a relief, you may feel lighter.

When you feel you have no more to give back to the Earth, Take a deep breath, move your feet to stop the flow and then imagine a richer, lighter and fluffier energy coming up from the ground in through your feet and flowing through your body via the fresh clean energy river. Let it flow, washing over all those dark achey places. Imagine it refreshing you, giving you more energy and focus. When your done. Take a deep breath, drink some water and get on with your day.

This can take anywhere from 5 minutes to a half hour. It’s up to you. It usually takes a little longer in the beginning because its a new skill that has to be learned and you probably have a lot more pent up emotions than you think.

But the good thing is that you don’t have to wait until your an emotional mess to start. I actually found that if you make this part of a routine you bypass the breakdowns.

Other ways of grounding.

Sometimes we get caught up in our heads. Its’s our nature to define and find reasons for our emotions. We feel that pang of sadness and wonder why? Instead of assuming its just blocked energy in our heart space we find a disappointment in our lives and decide that’s why we’re sad. Or angry or afraid. Our mind starts reeling and gets out of control. All kind of imagined slights will fill us with more emotions and we become so worked up we lose focus on the important things.

In these cases a few quick tricks can bring us back down to the place where we can manage again.

Think of your 5 senses.

What can you see? What can you taste; what can you hear; what can you smell; what can you feel?

Think of Earth and nature. Can you see the sky, the clouds, a tree?
Can you taste an apple, coffee, chocolate? (Professor Lupin was right about this one; It really does help.)
Can you hear birds, squirrels, water running, trees rustling?
Can you feel the air, the bark of a tree, bare feet on grass?

Getting back to nature is the most effective to getting you back into your body but other things work – wash your hands or put lotion on them. Drink some water. Turn on music. Move your body; dance, run, lift weights.

Maybe you think you don’t need this because your not emotional.
I hate to break it to you, You are.
We all are.

Its part of being human. Just because you don’t cry at the drop of a hat doesn’t mean those emotions aren’t flowing through you.

(actually crying is an awesome way to release the pent up emotions; I’m a big fan and I highly recommend it)

What happens when you don’t keep that river flowing, grounding out the extra emotions? They get stuck. In your body. And you end up with random aches and pains. Back ache, stomach issues, head aches, joint pain…..Over time you end up with chronic disease.

There’s a reason men have a shorter lifespan than women.

You remember that old paradigm of men are stronger/ women are too emotional….Women cry, men don’t.

It’s poisoned generations of men. Women release those pent up emotions and remove the blocks before they can cause disease that kill men. This has allowed women be stronger, healthier and live longer. Fortunately, shifts are happening and people are dropping that toxic masculine ideology.

The grounding exercises I’ve suggested is a way to possibly bypass the crying and still get the health benefits. Practice it. Make it part of your routine. Once a day, once a week. Whatever works for you. Just do it.

 

Hexing, Healing and Harming None.

I’ve been asked if I put spells on people, good or bad.

I don’t. Well, not specific spells, anyway- general well-being, protective and healing spells if asked or if I’m feeling compelled at the time.

Its because I believe in free will, life lessons and karma.

My ex, the Idiot, was convinced I cursed him when his second marriage failed. I didn’t. I suppose at one time or another, I had wished he got everything he deserved.

* I may or may not have hoped that included heartbreak and despair – however I did not set those parameters, specifically…. I was willing to let Karma decide*

At the time it felt like bad juju and also he’s my kids dad. Whatever happens to him effects my kids. Also, I really liked his 2nd wife. I was happy that he was happy. I was sad, but not surprised, when she left him.

I also do not do spells for people. Not unless they are willing to sit down with me, explain in detail how they feel, what they want and walk through every step with me. Magic is very personal. What you want and what I think you want could be miles apart.

I’m not going to be responsible if it doesn’t work exactly like you expect it to.

And guess what, magic rarely does.

But that’s besides the point.

In the Wiccan Rede there is a line that states, And it harm none, do as ye will”

That’s an incredibly liberating line. Especially for people who are being controlled by religious constraints, social norms, etc.

That line gives a person the right to step out of the role that society has imposed upon them. You can love the person you want, even if they are the same sex, a different race or religion, living across the country.

It means you can tattoo your skin or pierce your eyebrow or wear white after labor day. It means you can leave a toxic relationship or choose to live with 10 cats.

It also means you are free to run a company but you cannot exploit your workers or knowingly pollute the environment. There’s an ethical component to the Rule.

This is a great line to hold in your heart and guide your choices when you’re brand new and working to break the chains that kept you from knowing and expressing yourself.

I’ve even incorporated in my child rearing practices. As my kids grew, I made them consider this. Will hanging out your window with a lighter and a can of hairspray hurt you or someone else? Maybe? Then DON’T DO IT!

Most people who find this path develop a lot of righteous anger. They feel they’ve been lied to, manipulated and controlled. Its normal to be angry; healthy even. And having that one constraint of ‘harm none’ is like using training wheels as you heal your soul and develop your powers.

So then we come to the old adage that says if a witch can’t hex, they can’t heal.

I feel like this is more for the seasoned practitioner. The witch that’s been around long enough to heal some of their trauma and dabbled in magic long enough to have a basic understanding of how it works. Not that its more difficult, just that it requires more insight, control and ethics than ‘harm none’

Think sex ed. We tell our preschoolers that baby’s grow in mommy’s bellies. We tell our school age children that mommy and daddy loved each other very much and created a baby that will grow in mommy’s belly.

And then we tell our teenagers the details of how that baby was created.

The actual physical, chemical and emotional steps to creating life. And if your smart, you’ll tell them how to prevent it.

Teenagers have bodies that are changing and hormones that are surging. They need to know more and are emotionally capable of understanding some of the finer nuances,

The biggest reason for not giving all the emotional, physical and scientific facts to your three year old is that they won’t understand it. They’re brain isn’t developed enough to handle the abstract concepts.

A new Witch needs to grow a bit before tackling the nuances of hexing vs. healing.

I  feel like the concept isn’t so much that you should hex if your going to heal or that you have to hex if you want to heal.
I feel like it refers more to the mechanics of magic.

In the process of using magic, a witch manipulates energy. We draw that energy from the earth, from Spirit and from ourselves. We obtain our energy from the food we eat but also the emotions we feel. The stronger the emotion the more energy we can harness.

With this idea in mind, great energy can be harnessed by love, fear, and anger; our strongest emotions.

I think the idea that ‘you can’t heal if you can’t hex’ refers to the ability to harness both the the joys of love and the fire of anger.

A long time ago, I was saved by the idea that emotions swing like a pendulum.

I had my first 3 kids with in a 5 year period. I suffered some serious depression in those years. Part was situational, part was isolation and a big part was hormones.

After my second, I had the worst postpartum depression ever. Serious stereotypical signs of depression. Inability to function; I couldn’t eat, sleep, bathe. I had suicidal ideations…the works. Eventually hormones stabilized and life got back to normal….if there is a sense of normal in being 21 with 2 babies.

When I was pregnant with #3 I was secretly afraid that I would return to that level of despair. In the process of fearing it I managed to block all strong emotions. Long story short, by the time he was 18 months, I was 50 pounds overweight, exhausted and numb.

I realized that I couldn’t feel happy because I was too afraid to feel sad and If I wanted to feel the ecstatic joy that I imagined was possible, I had to risk feeling despair again.

I swung back and forth a few years. I found some great emotional highs but never stayed stuck in the lows. I learned that emotions are temporary if you don’t hold on to them.

This was before I discovered this magical path. It was my first step in taking more control over my own life.

But relating this back to the hexing and healing stuff. I feel like this piece of advice is best taken in the context that you have to master your emotions.

You have to be able to harness your fear and anger. You have to be brave enough to feel happy and fall in love. You have to be able to recognize the emotions, feel them and learn to let go of them if you want to work strong magic.

How can I cast a protective circle around the women of Georgia if I really just want to disembowel the Republicans that drafted the ridiculous legislation.

I could use that energy to hex the misogyny if I was so inclined.

I’m not… usually.

But more importantly, I have to recognized the anger, feel the anger and let it go effectively BEFORE I attempt to do protective and healing spell work.

If I don’t, my anger and frustration will leach into my good intentions in a passive-aggressive cluster-fuck that has the potential to hurt the very Sisterhood I’m trying to protect.

The thing is, once you know how to recognize, feel, and release an emotion, you’re only one step away from using it in spell work, whether that’s healing or hexing.

What this advice does NOT say is that you have to hex. This is your practice, this is your life and your choice. If hexing doesn’t feel right than don’t do it. Easy-peasy.

However you do have to do the emotional work. You do have to process those ‘hexing’ emotions. You know, next level Witch work.

And just because you choose not to hex doesn’t mean you can’t heal.

Please do.

The world needs more healers.

Dame Habonde – a Lesson in Abundance

Dame Habondi

I recently received a request for a custom Spirit Doll from a client I’ve worked with before.

He asked if I’d ever heard of Dame Habonde.

I hadn’t but a quick google search netted me plenty of information of this little known goddess and peaked my interest.

In Celtic areas she was a Goddess of abundance, joy, fertility and luck. Her symbols are ale and fire and as such she was honored by dancing around a bonfire.

In Wales, She’s celebrated on the First Monday in July.

She’s also connected with the night riders, believed to creep into homes at night bringing prosperity to the occupants. She was eventually dismissed as a witch and almost lost. 

As a fertility Goddess it automatically puts her in the Mother section of the Goddess triptych. But I didn’t pick up on new mother or young mother.

I was feeling a seasoned mother, maybe bordering on crone-hood; a wise and patient mother.

And yet in contrast I was picking up on early summer, more of first fruits rather that first harvest that most abundance goddess are associated with.

And just for shits and giggles, Habonde kept shooting over visions of strawberries.

Now here where I live, Strawberry season is the last half of June and in my house it’s a big deal. We have a local u-pick that does a big festival to kick off its harvesting season.

The Renaissance Man and I drag the kids into the field to pick our share while they complain that they’re bored and hot and dying……then I spend the next 2 days processing strawberries; freezing, jelly-making and cordials.

I feel like this was her way of giving me a clear picture of her energy.

I worked with my client on the details; He pictured red braids and green/gold energy.

I added ruby in zoistite, emerald and rhodochrosite chips for the rich abundant energy and self love, because you can’t have one without the other.

And then a funny thing happened.

It’s my artistic nature to add more. More of everything. More layers, more fabric, more fibers, more beads. Just more.

But every time I tried, it looked wrong. I wasn’t feeling it. I got a little nervous thinking maybe I lost my mojo. 

I’d undo what I tried and try something else. Sometimes I’d walk away, hoping that when I came back, the next layer would be more clear.

After 3 days, I finally asked Her. “What else do you need?”

And she laughed.

Nothing. I’m perfect. Sometimes, more isn’t better, it’s just more!”

So she was photographed, approved and sent off to her happy home to work her magic and bring joy to the man who commissioned her.

Her words echoed in my head. A sure sign that there was a lesson to be remembered.

The eerie truth is that it’s exactly what I told my ex-husband years ago.

Sometimes, more isn’t better. It’s just more.

He was the poster child for 80’s culture. “The one that dies with the most toys, wins”

Remember that idea?

No…okay, I’m old.

He lived by that, filling our cape cod to the seams with crap he’d never use, leaving it up to me to figure out where to keep it.

In frustration, I spit those exact words at him and he laughed a nervous laugh that suggested I was right but he wasn’t willing to admit it.

He’s still a pack rat, but his house isn’t my problem anymore. I’m not as bad, I’ll do a whole house purge at least once a year. 

I find it odd that a Deity of Abundance and plenty would preach against ‘more’. Isn’t that what Abundance is about?

So, what is the lesson now, how can that idea be applied to our current situations? Am I more focused on getting more? Do I really need it? Does it hamper my ability to enjoy the now?

And of course because I’ve lived with a pack rat and currently live in a tiny little hobbit house….. If I do feel I need it, how often will I use it? Where will I put it?

I think Dame Habonde is pointing out that abundance isn’t about more. Maybe its about enough. Enough to sustain, enough to share, enough to not worry about the next week, the next month, the dark and scarce winter seasons….

Maybe its not about having ‘it’ squirreled away in the back of the closet ‘just in case’. Maybe its about having the faith that it’ll show up when we need it. Maybe it’s about paying it forward and providing our excess to people who need it now. Something to think about. 

Daffodil (2019 update)

Okay, so a little back ground on my adventures with daffodils.

20190411_120629-1.jpg

I love these little rays of sunshine!

They are the first flowers to show up in my yard every spring. For me, its the first sign that the long, cold, miserable, Midwest winter is almost over.

I’ve always grown these – I’ve been adulting since ’92 and bought our first house in ’96. I’ve grown them at almost every house I’ve lived in since.

I didn’t start intentionally using them in magic until 2014,  when I first wrote this post. 

That year I tested out some spells and rituals. I was quite happy with the results so I began picking and drying out the flowers towards the end of their growing season.

I picked too many.

So I offered them in my shop.

It became an accidental success so I continue to harvest my daffodils every year.

This year looked like I was going to have a bumper crop. Two years ago I divided them and moved them around. They did well. I never doubted them. One of the reasons I love them is that they’re incredibly dependable and resilient. 

I started picking the ones growing on the south side of the house. Those always bloom first. I almost started picking the ones up front yesterday but the butterflies were dancing through them so I decided to give them a few more days.

20190411_120314-1.jpg

Daffodils 2019

I’d hate to deny the butterflies a happy meal after all.

Imagine my surprise to wake up this morning  to sleet and snow! I sat in the front window for an hour, drinking my coffee and watching the slush pile up on those poor flowers.

20190414_153700.jpg

I’ll know by tomorrow if they’ll survive. Its supposed to be back up in the 50’s.  And I guess I  can be thankful that all the bulbs I transplanted to the back haven’t bloomed yet. Those will show up in another week or so.

I’ll have a fresh batch of dried daffodil flowers  available by the middle of May, just maybe not as many as I anticipated.

So what do you do with Daffodil flowers? 

Well, I’m a big supporter of being creative with your magical workings, I won’t tell you what to do or how to use them.
(*except I highly suggest that you not consume them. All parts of a daffodil are toxic and can make you sick)

I will share some of the properties and how I use them.

Daffodils symbolize joy and happiness, hope and cheerfulness.
Traditionally their ‘power’ includes Luck, Love, and Fertility.

  • I put fresh cut daffodils on my altar and throughout the house to attract friendly Spirits.
  • Add dried flowers to a mojo or medicine bags to a dash of joy.
  • Add to a poppet for emotional healing.
  • Sprinkle on a doorstep to keep negative energy from entering.
  • Roll an anointed candle in crushed flower petals.

Also fun fact: Daffodils were adopted by the Druids as their flower.

Do you have a favorite way to use Daffodils? I’d love to hear about it.

 

 

The Hag of Winter

I’m the only practicing witch here at the Haven.

I have hopes for the younger minions; Peter Pan, Dark&Twisty and maybe even Dennis the Menace. The rest are doing their own thing.

Just because I’m the only witch doesn’t mean I’m the only one affected by the energy.

Both The Renaissance Man and The Princess are complaining about being tired and not wanting to do the Things. My reply is always, “Then don’t”. Unfortunately their work ethic compels them to defy my suggestion.

The weather finally turned cold here. The Hag of Winter flew through and dropped a few inches of snow, she’ll be back around this week, bringing bitter arctic, record-breaking cold. The local weather stations are dubbing this cold snap “Chi-beria” .  *We live just outside Chicago*

2019-1-27cailleach

There’s a reason Cailliech Bheur is depicted as blind, seeing only from her third eye; winter doesn’t discriminate. It drops its load anywhere it feel like with no regard to our schedules, plans, and to-do lists. It knows what the land needs, She knows what we need.

We need to stop, we need to reflect, we need to turn inward and review our life choices. We need to dream and hope and plan for warmer days. We need to bundle up in warm cozy blankets and fleece-lined wool socks. We need to daydream and find solace in doing nothing.

The land benefits from the winter freeze as well. A deep frost depth, or how deep the ground freezes, helps to keep nutrients in place, loosens the soil and kills off certain insects know to cause havoc on crops.

Yes, it puts a damper on our to-do list but maybe our to-do list shouldn’t be so long in the winter. Maybe this is the Goddess’ way of telling us to STOP!

The sky is gray
The sand is gray
And the ocean is gray

And I feel right at home
In this stunning monochrome
Alone in my way

I smoke and I drink
And every time I blink
I have a tiny dream

But as bad as I am
I’m proud of the fact
That I’m worse than I seem

What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I’ve got everything I want and still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

 

This song has been playing in my head the past week. In my mind its the embodiment of January. It begs us to reflect, to open our eyes and take a good look at ourselves and our life choices thus far.

January is the month of resolutions. The month of starting new habits; the month of hope and possibility. *Capricorn influence*

By the end of January most people have lost their gusto, and that’s okay because we enter Aquarius which, in my observation, tends to be much more cerebral and altruistic.

An excellent time to think through these early year goals and evaluate if they’re the best choice we can make for ourselves and our world.

The Hag of Winter is here again, to remind us – to force us to rest our bodies and enter the realm of our mind.

So seriously, turn off Netflix for a little while, grab a cup of something warm, a notebook and pen and start writing – don’t think, just write.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is my second depiction of Caillech Bheur. I decided last month that I really miss making dolls and I wanted to spend this year exploring different forms.

2019-1-27caillech2

Caillech Bheur – The Hag of Winter

This is the first attempt at creating a polymer clay and wire sculpture. I blended blue clay with doll clay to get the deathly gray color fitting for the Goddess of Winter. She’s  been painted with a dry brush technique to give her a ‘frosted’ look.

I attached her to a wood block, which I decorated with modeling paste to give that rugged winter landscape look.

Her hair is made with Speckled Tweed recycled silk yarn from Darn Good Yarn. *my newest obsession*

Her cloak and pussy hat were crocheted with scrap yarn I had on hand.

Why a pussy hat? Because she’s an ancient and incredibly powerful Goddess. And she totally supports our movement away from the patriarchy. The path forward is always about finding and honoring the balance between the Feminine and Masculine aspects of our society.

Her staff, said to be covered with human flesh, is carved with ancient Celtic writing and Ogham characters.

Caillech Bheur is known as the Storm Bringer who, through bitter winds and blizzards, changed the landscape.

She is also said to be the  Goddess of Sovereignty offering us the right to govern our own lives. This offering is accompanied by cold, hard honesty that may be brutal and painful but is always necessary to our personal development.

Her themes relate to balance, cycles, overcoming struggle and rebirth.  She is said to have fostered many children and is the protector of wild animals.

I hope The Cailleach visits you as you take some time this winter to reflect. I hope she offers you guidance and sovereignty to become Ruler of your World.

 

It’s 2019 B!tches!

Yeah for the new year! Are you feeling feisty and ready to conquer? I am.

It’s been awhile since I’ve made a Spirit Doll. It’s been awhile since I’ve connected with any specific Goddess.

The last two years have been rough. I feel like I’ve been in constant contact with my personal guides and ancestors, begging them to help me process the anger and the outrage. Frustrated by my inability to make the big changes that the world needs right now.

Some artist excel in that kind of energy.

I don’t.

So no art and very little writing; most of that was scrapped because I couldn’t stop the venom from leaching into it. If I couldn’t contribute to the greater good, then I shouldn’t be adding to the collective misery. Those writings will stay private.

2017 is long gone and 2018 is over.

Welcome 2019 and this little swirly ball of hope and light; This warm tingly desire to create art.

So I sat down one night after the kids were asleep. I wrapped myself in the warm fuzzy blanket that my (soon to be) daughter-in-law gifted me, lit a candle and called in my ancestors.

Screenshot_20190115-091008_Facebook-2

 

What do I want? I asked them, What is the potential of this tiny seed I feel swirling around in my magic?

(because you can’t manifest if you don’t know what you want.)

I needed clarity, I needed a picture in my head and a feeling in my heart.

I didn’t have to wait long. I felt the warm glow of hope. I visioned a pictures of dolls, fully sculpted and clothed in funky fibers, bright colors and pussy hats. Goddesses, spirits, and physical representation of energy and abstract ideas.

I felt my crazy Aunt Joy, who passed away last summer. She too, was a doll maker and jack of all arts. Her daughter gave me all her doll making supplies. Bright colors and radical ideas were kind of her thing.

Yes, this is what my soul desires. To re-connect with the hopeful parts of myself, to reach out and offer the world a little bit of my enthusiastic optimism.

Then we had a planning session. Because they know me. I was given strict instructions.

  • No more than 6 dolls this year.
  • I must have a clearly defined project design sheet before I can start.
  • I must log my time and materials.
  • No ridiculous deadlines that make me dread the making process

I’m also allowed only one alternate art type to clean my pallet.  They’re pushing for art journal. They tell me Art journals are needed plus I enjoy the process of making them. I have a tendency to let my creative to-do list get excessively long, try to do it all and then burn out in frustration.

Maybe because it’s January, or maybe it’s because it’s a rather mild winter, or maybe it’s just the Old Hag calling to me. I’ve decided to re-visit with Cailleach Bhuer. It’s been 5 years. I think she has something else to tell me.

Pictures will be coming soon, I’m taking my time, enjoying the process.

What are your big plans for 2019? What are your personal conquests for the year?

Drop me a note and let me know so I can cheer you on.

 

 

Uncrossing Spell and Whatnot

17-7-22Uncrossing

By the light of moon’s wane
Cleanse my soul of this stain
Let the spell be reverse
Lift away this dark curse
As I enter sacred space
Return my soul to grace
I forgive what was done
Let the spell be undone
By the dark and the light
Your spell ends tonight

I received an interesting phone call the other day. Big Red’s friend found himself in an interesting conundrum of which he wasn’t familiar. My son listened like a good friend and admitted it was something that would be more up my ally, so they called.

The friend, I’ll just call him The Poet, was informed by his ex that she put a binding spell on him and he wanted to know what to do to take it off. His time with this woman had been chaotic which is why they’re not together but he still wants to have some kind of peaceful working relationship because they have a son together.

Yes, this is more up my ally that Big Red’s. Yes, I’m familiar with binding spells. I’m quite comfortable with magical self-defense and protective spells. However, being as I’ve been practicing as a solitary and pretty picky about whom I let get close, I’ve never had to perform uncrossing spells.

Before I make any suggestions, I asked more questions, I want to get a feel for his beliefs, his understanding and experience of magic. I want to know what he feels about this situation.

Let’s face it, most people are skeptical at best. Hell, I’m skeptical when a non-magical person says they’ve been cursed or they saw a ghost or had some kind of magic work for them. And I’m on the believing side, I’ve had magic work for me, I talk to ghosts and spirits regularly, I’ve known things I have no business knowing. But skepticism is healthy and normal so I really want to know where he’s at and how open he is to any of my options.

I was told the baby-mama confessed she put a binding spell on him to protect him from himself but he feels like it was more likely that she bound him to herself.

The Poet explained that he was seeing someone else when this alleged spell was cast and that new relationship just dissolved for no apparent reason, the two of them just drifted apart.

Around the same time, he ran into an eccentric woman who told him he had a hex on him; she could see it in his aura.

He believes in magic and finds it kind of amazing and scary at the same time.

He’s also walked away from two car accidents in the last month, both times the car was totaled and both times he was traveling with a car charm that I gave Big Red.

(I sprout new grey hair every time I think of my son driving)

He’s taken up a daily meditation practice where he seeks a sense of peace in his relationship with this woman. And this is why I believe his version of the spell.

When we meditate regularly, we open our 3rd eye, strengthen our intuition and find ourselves ‘knowing’ things. Trust that!

I suggested that in his meditations he should visualize the cord connecting them and imagine cutting it. And then imagine the two of them floating away from each other peacefully.

Ideally, we would all do that when relationships end but usually we’re either too sad or too angry to sever those cosmic ties neatly. It’s okay if it takes you months or years to get to that point. When you’re ready, do it!

I had to do some research on the rest so I got back to him the next day.

Most hex-breaking or uncrossing spells involve sending the curse back. A lot of the spells involve mirrors to reflect the effects of the curse back to the sender. The rebound effect is pretty wicked. I didn’t think he wanted that for his son’s mother. Whatever her intentions were, he didn’t believe them to be malicious.

So my next suggestion was a poppet. I like poppets but they required some work. I can only do so much of the magic; he would have to do the rest.

A poppet can act as a stand in for the person in question. In The Poet’s case, it would stand in for him, to ‘catch’ any spells, curse, hexes or negative energy sent in his direction. It would then dissipate the energy. I made the poppet, stuffed it with wormwood and rue to break the binding spell, coffee to neutralized harmful or unwanted energy, and hyssop to ward off negative intentions.

It will be his responsibility to add a part of himself (hair, fingernails, blood, sweat, etc) , sew up the doll, name it and give it instructions.

He’ll keep it hidden until such time as he feels it’s no longer needed. At that point I highly suggest he burns it. I know some practitioners suggesting burying or tossing in a garbage far away from home but I feel like it’s a part of you and you wouldn’t want that in someone else’s hands….

I also suggested a talisman. A talisman is a magical object empowered with a certain intent that helps you keep certain energy about you. It should be carried at all times (or you know, as often as possible) In this case I would keep it simple; I would sew up a little black square of fabric with the fore mentioned herbs as well as gemstone chips. I feel like jet and obsidian to banish negative energy, quarts to amplify the energy of the herbs & stones and rose quartz or rhodochrosite to fill the space with loving intentions.

This could be carried in his wallet or pocket during the day and kept on a bedside table, or under a pillow at night. I would also encourage him to spend some time focusing on his intent; to break the binding spell and repel any other magic sent his way.

Witches can do magic for you, they can cast spells on your behalf but I feel like it works so much better if you add your own intentions and energy. Even if you’re just buying a talisman or gemstone or piece of jewelry, it’s a good idea to set your intentions and charge it with your own energies.

I like using charged jewelry as talisman, it makes it easy to always carry when you need it, but in this case I really want to use the herbs.

Another option is a ritual bath, adding in curse breaking herbs as well as salt and anything else that strikes you as beneficial, like lavender for peace or rose petals to add love to the situation. Imagine the bonds of the curse dissolve as you soak.

Once you feel the curse or hex is lifted, it’s important to set up some protection spells to ward off any future curses.

I’ll leave that for another day.

The poet has options now, and he’s feeling better about the situation. If nothing else, that alone will help to shift his energy and make life better. A magical practice is all about self-empowerment.

Update: August 2018, (one year after the original post): The Poet has peacefully severed the connection with his ex and is in a fresh new relationship with a wonderful and supportive woman.

Disclaimer: Pursuant to the United States Postal Service regulations and other State and Federal laws, I am unable to make any claim as to the effectiveness either magickal or medicinal of any of the products offered through The Mystic’s Haven.
While the products are either traditional or specific to the craft, I am unable to make any guarantees and I’m required to advise they are “Sold as Curios Only”
No herbal product is intended as a substitute for competent medical care. Please see your physician before adding any herbal supplement to your diet.
All information herein is from traditional or historical reference and intended to help you make an informed decision.